How to win friends and influence people, by Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) is an American writer and lecturer, well known for his courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, and public speaking.

I discovered this book as it was recommended by Warren Buffett.

Below are the key lessons from the book:

Fundamental techniques in handling people:

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound.
4. Be a god listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking:

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.

Be a leader – how to change people without giving offence or arousing resentment:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your appreciation and lavish in your praise.
7. Give the other a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

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How to Win Friends and Influence People